I am tired, weary, heartsick of reading the stories of parents who become monsters. Shaniya Nicole Davis was sold to a man who, through his forcible violation of her five year old body, choked the life out of her. Her mother, who carried her for nine months, who had other children, sold her precious daughter, who loved earning high marks in school, for drugs.
The time has long since come for all of those involved in birth to take a stand. We have all seen mothers and fathers too incompetent, too unaware, too monstrous to be caregivers. Their black hearts are full of poison and their children are their prey.
No more.
It is well-documented somewhere that there were problems in the family, problems with drugs, problems with maturity, etc. There were relatives who loved and cared for little Shaniya, relatives who returned her to her mother, who consigned her to a horrible, cruel, twisted death.
Shaniya Nicole Davis.
This is the focus. Her life was taken by the one who gave her life, and the one who gave her life is no longer human, she is strung out on drugs and not in her right mind. Once a human has committed such a monstrous act, there is no human redemption.
If there were true justice, the woman who procured the death of Shaniya Nicole Davis would be walled up in the cask of amontillado.
Let God forgive her. I spit upon her who deliberately deprived her own daughter of both innocence and life and my heart is cold toward her.
I only have tears for the prey, Shaniya Nicole Davis. Poor angel, rest now, far from the ravaging hands and clawing horror of your final hours...
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thanksgiving is no reason to go to pieces...
Many clients are calling, emailing and coming by to ask for hints and tips for surviving this holiday season. Frazzled, jangled, at loose ends and ready to throw in the towel, they are trying to balance the perfect meal with the perfect house with the perfect baby with the perfect husband.
Some have physically recoiled when I simply, cheerfully, say to them: "Sit down, have a hot cuppa, and by the way, not happening, lovey. "
One client burst into tears, convinced that she was a wretched failure.
This set me to write upon this subject. The time has come, as my grandmother says, for some good, solid facts and hard home truths.
First, let us be frank. If you are not an octopus, you will not wake up and just magically have a sitcom-worthy house with all of the Norman Rockwell trimmings.
Second, no one does it by themselves, with no help, with no planning and with a squalling newborn.
Third, if help is offered, DO take it, with as many thanks as possible.
Fourth, a small, well-cooked dinner is better than a disasterous six-course meal.
Fifth, if you have never prepared Thanksgiving before, for heaven's sakes, get help.
Sixth, restaurants are accepting your reservations for Thanksgiving dinner.
Seventh...calm yourself, dry your eyes, and be thankful for what you do have.
Eighth...have a wonderful, calm, peaceful, safe Thanksgiving!
Some have physically recoiled when I simply, cheerfully, say to them: "Sit down, have a hot cuppa, and by the way, not happening, lovey. "
One client burst into tears, convinced that she was a wretched failure.
This set me to write upon this subject. The time has come, as my grandmother says, for some good, solid facts and hard home truths.
First, let us be frank. If you are not an octopus, you will not wake up and just magically have a sitcom-worthy house with all of the Norman Rockwell trimmings.
Second, no one does it by themselves, with no help, with no planning and with a squalling newborn.
Third, if help is offered, DO take it, with as many thanks as possible.
Fourth, a small, well-cooked dinner is better than a disasterous six-course meal.
Fifth, if you have never prepared Thanksgiving before, for heaven's sakes, get help.
Sixth, restaurants are accepting your reservations for Thanksgiving dinner.
Seventh...calm yourself, dry your eyes, and be thankful for what you do have.
Eighth...have a wonderful, calm, peaceful, safe Thanksgiving!
Friday, November 20, 2009
How to handle Thanksgiving's Temptations
For many, Thanksgiving is a time of good food, good drink, good times with family and friends. It is also a time when overindulgence and relaxed rules on dieting overcome the usual common good sense and moderation. This is why it is important to have both an entrance and an exit strategy for the upcoming holiday season.
One strategy that I prescribe for my clients to combat the holiday stresses and rich food is PREVIEW. With this plan in mind, the holidays become more manageable and more enjoyable.
P is for pacing. This means think about what is important and necessary for you to do this season; many invitations can be tempting, but leave you drained. Balance what you have to do with what you need to do.
R is for resting. Naps are not just for little kids;adults often suffer from sleep deprivation and need to compensate. This in practice is to allow yourself a period of 15-45 minutes to relax, put your feet up, place a cool compress on your head and collect yourself before racing off to the next holiday fete-or struggling in the kitchen with a holiday meal.
E is for energy. Take your vitamins, do your yoga-whatever it takes to naturally keep your energy levels optimal and even. Do not skip snacks nor overrely on caffeine.
V is for vitality through vegetables. Many are robbed of it this holiday season due to lack of planning and overcommitting. Save your vital energy for what is vitally important: vegetables, vegetables, vegetables. At the least, pack in a case of V8 and drink it all through the day.
I is for integrity. Keep your schedule intact. Keeping to a schedule, more or less, will help keep your equalibrium intact. One or two late nights are okay-so long as you maintain rest periods for yourself.
E is for exercise. Do not gleefully abandon exercise; in fact, keeping to an exercise routine will help to ground you and keep you from overindulgence.
W is for water. Water is vital to maintaining health, keeping digestion going strong, and eliminating waste from the body.
Give PREVIEW a try and you will have a holiday to remember!
Have a wonderful, happy and safe Thanksgiving! Thank you to all my faithful readers and I thank you for supporting me!
One strategy that I prescribe for my clients to combat the holiday stresses and rich food is PREVIEW. With this plan in mind, the holidays become more manageable and more enjoyable.
P is for pacing. This means think about what is important and necessary for you to do this season; many invitations can be tempting, but leave you drained. Balance what you have to do with what you need to do.
R is for resting. Naps are not just for little kids;adults often suffer from sleep deprivation and need to compensate. This in practice is to allow yourself a period of 15-45 minutes to relax, put your feet up, place a cool compress on your head and collect yourself before racing off to the next holiday fete-or struggling in the kitchen with a holiday meal.
E is for energy. Take your vitamins, do your yoga-whatever it takes to naturally keep your energy levels optimal and even. Do not skip snacks nor overrely on caffeine.
V is for vitality through vegetables. Many are robbed of it this holiday season due to lack of planning and overcommitting. Save your vital energy for what is vitally important: vegetables, vegetables, vegetables. At the least, pack in a case of V8 and drink it all through the day.
I is for integrity. Keep your schedule intact. Keeping to a schedule, more or less, will help keep your equalibrium intact. One or two late nights are okay-so long as you maintain rest periods for yourself.
E is for exercise. Do not gleefully abandon exercise; in fact, keeping to an exercise routine will help to ground you and keep you from overindulgence.
W is for water. Water is vital to maintaining health, keeping digestion going strong, and eliminating waste from the body.
Give PREVIEW a try and you will have a holiday to remember!
Have a wonderful, happy and safe Thanksgiving! Thank you to all my faithful readers and I thank you for supporting me!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Have a Happy Monday!
If you, like me, are a fan of the classic movie "Office Space", you groan along with our hapless worker bee when a co-worker cheerily and cheekily says, "Looks like a case of the Mondays." Well, take heart and pluck courage, no longer will anyone accuse you of having a case of the Mondays when you log onto the site http://www.doonenicething.com
No, that bit of code at the top of the post is not random bits of scrambled nonsense. Rather, it is information to paste onto your own blogs and to pass along to others. Do one nice thing is a call to arms and action: let's not gather around the water cooler and have a moan, let's get to work and help others, for a few minutes at least.
From sending postcards to wounded soldier to purchasing new underwear for the homeless, founder Debbie Tenzer and her team keep on top of the best and most expansive ways to help others. Recommending good deed ideas as well as profiling those who do them is one way that Debbie does good for the world, one small act of kindness at a time.
So, dropkick those Monday blues and put on your kindness shoes and log onto http://doonenicething.com now!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Doulas are an investment, too
Doulas are an integral part of the new mothers life, yet many mothers reject the aid, assistance and comfort that having a doula can bring.
Anyone who has experienced the joys of a new baby can also attest to the steep learning curve that comes with the responsibility of the new little one. Pile on the lack of sleep, the getting to know your baby's personality and clues, the struggle to heal after childbirth and to adjust to your new body and new role, and this can be a delicate time for the new mother.
At this time, a doula is equipped to provide immediate relief and to lend a sympathetic ear. Her experience with babies proves invaluable when applied to the situation of the new baby at the home.
It is prudent to be careful with resouces, but weigh carefully being overly cautious against getting a best start to motherhood.
Doula Angelita writes a column for the San Jose Examiner on birth, parenting, nutrition and women's issues.
Please visit my column http://ekahnav.notlong.com, subscribe and comment!
Looking forward to hearing from you! http://ekahnav.notlong.com
Anyone who has experienced the joys of a new baby can also attest to the steep learning curve that comes with the responsibility of the new little one. Pile on the lack of sleep, the getting to know your baby's personality and clues, the struggle to heal after childbirth and to adjust to your new body and new role, and this can be a delicate time for the new mother.
At this time, a doula is equipped to provide immediate relief and to lend a sympathetic ear. Her experience with babies proves invaluable when applied to the situation of the new baby at the home.
It is prudent to be careful with resouces, but weigh carefully being overly cautious against getting a best start to motherhood.
Doula Angelita writes a column for the San Jose Examiner on birth, parenting, nutrition and women's issues.
Please visit my column http://ekahnav.notlong.com, subscribe and comment!
Looking forward to hearing from you! http://ekahnav.notlong.com
Monday, October 5, 2009
Pink Thoughts for Health and Breast Cancer Support
As a trident doula/parenting coach/nutrition guide/women's health advocate, I urge all women to take a moment during this month of Breast Cancer Awareness and do these few things for your health:
1. Check yourself, from top to toe. If you feel ill, run-down or just not right, make an appointment to get to the doctor.
2. Reach out to your female family and friends to do the same thing.
3. Donate pink items to your local pregnancy research shelter. They can always use baby things for the new little ones, and the pink colour will evoke a reminder to be in the pink of health for the new little one!
4. Resolve to drink more water. Start with one full glass in the morning, and one full one at night.
5. Get up, every morning and do 2 minutes of exercise. Touch your toes, walk around the block, stand up and sit down in a chair. Just get the blood moving, to bring pink to your cheeks.
6. Eat some tomatoes, and some cauliflower at least one time this week. Red and white make pink!
7. Now that colder weather is settling in, invest in some good moisturizer to keep your glowing pink skin at its loveliest.
8. Pick up a pink Sharpie. The specially made Sharpie with the pink ribbon will donate a portion of the proceeds to City of Hope.
9. Yogurt is good for you; buying Yoplait's pink lid yogurt will not only be good for your health, it will benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
10. volunteer. Even if it is donating books, holding a hospice patient's hand, or teaching a youngster to read, you will get a pink glow all over at the good will you have generated.
1. Check yourself, from top to toe. If you feel ill, run-down or just not right, make an appointment to get to the doctor.
2. Reach out to your female family and friends to do the same thing.
3. Donate pink items to your local pregnancy research shelter. They can always use baby things for the new little ones, and the pink colour will evoke a reminder to be in the pink of health for the new little one!
4. Resolve to drink more water. Start with one full glass in the morning, and one full one at night.
5. Get up, every morning and do 2 minutes of exercise. Touch your toes, walk around the block, stand up and sit down in a chair. Just get the blood moving, to bring pink to your cheeks.
6. Eat some tomatoes, and some cauliflower at least one time this week. Red and white make pink!
7. Now that colder weather is settling in, invest in some good moisturizer to keep your glowing pink skin at its loveliest.
8. Pick up a pink Sharpie. The specially made Sharpie with the pink ribbon will donate a portion of the proceeds to City of Hope.
9. Yogurt is good for you; buying Yoplait's pink lid yogurt will not only be good for your health, it will benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation.
10. volunteer. Even if it is donating books, holding a hospice patient's hand, or teaching a youngster to read, you will get a pink glow all over at the good will you have generated.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A doula is worth a bag of gold...
I recently read an interesting quotation from Ms. Indra Nooyi, chairwoman of PepsiCo, Inc. regarding prenatal care:
"Where I was born in India, pregnant women receive months of pampering from their mothers and other family members. Because my mother received this care during her pregnancy with me, she was there to give me the same treatment when I gave birth to my two children in the United States."
How interesting. Pampering and nurturing the mother, ensuring that she is well-looked after, is an integral part of Asian culture. This watchfulness, as well as good medical care in the form of access to healthcare providers and prenatal vitamins, pays off with the reward of a healthy baby and healthy mother.
Yet, many women are quite resistant to prenatal pampering. They insist on going it alone, working despite tiredness, trying to be a superwoman through morning sickness, pushing themselves when they need to rest. Many will argue that they do not want, have time for, or need any additional help.
My response is this: if you cannot accept and cherish help at this special time of your life, when will you?
Be informed. Be confident. Be empowered.
Birth into motherhood with Doula Angelita
"Where I was born in India, pregnant women receive months of pampering from their mothers and other family members. Because my mother received this care during her pregnancy with me, she was there to give me the same treatment when I gave birth to my two children in the United States."
How interesting. Pampering and nurturing the mother, ensuring that she is well-looked after, is an integral part of Asian culture. This watchfulness, as well as good medical care in the form of access to healthcare providers and prenatal vitamins, pays off with the reward of a healthy baby and healthy mother.
Yet, many women are quite resistant to prenatal pampering. They insist on going it alone, working despite tiredness, trying to be a superwoman through morning sickness, pushing themselves when they need to rest. Many will argue that they do not want, have time for, or need any additional help.
My response is this: if you cannot accept and cherish help at this special time of your life, when will you?
Be informed. Be confident. Be empowered.
Birth into motherhood with Doula Angelita
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